How many of us REALLY look at ourselves in the mirror?
I recently had my photograph professionally taken for our company website and was heartbroken by the results.
No matter how reassuring the photographer or our head of marketing were I still had misgivings and when the photo was finally released I nearly died. This was me in all my “glory” without the benefit of my editing, angles or filters and the worst part is…everyone thinks it’s a really good photo.
So what exactly is my problem?
Shouldn’t I be happy that they’ve got a great representation of me? Well yes but you see the problem is, it’s not me. Every time I look in the mirror I see someone a lot different, someone a lot thinner, someone a lot healthier looking. Someone I like.
What stared out at me was the kid that got bullied in school, the awkward teenager who never quite fit in. What stared back at me from that picture was Jabba the gut (my school nickname)
I’m not Me anymore!!
I guess the problem is that throughout my twenties I focussed on reinventing myself and by my 30s I’d successfully rebranded. I was StockyJim, I was loud and proud, I ran Chubcrawls and I was Flabulous.
The person that stared back at me from this picture is no longer StockyJim, and if I’m being honest isn’t even Jabba the gut anymore. The person that stared back at me is someone else altogether and I’m not sure who that person is.
I guess what I’m saying is that things change, and time moves on, but often our own self image doesn’t. I’ve had to take a long hard look at myself and realise I have to make some changes, but I also have to acknowledge who I am now, and not the idealised image I’ve created for myself.
So that’s it, no more filters,no more carefully angled mirrors, just me, just James. Still Flabulous!!;