2 weeks after I put Lulu to bed for 2012 I got marched to the doctor by the Dazzler!! As I went through the doors to the doctors I felt myself collapse inside, this was it, I was finished , I was at rock bottom, I had to be honest. This was my last chance to do something to fix myself

I’d become hell to live with, I hardly ever left the house and ate anything and everything. Not only was I putting on even more weight I was slowly killing myself!! I was pushing the Dazzler away, locking myself in my own little world and didn’t want to come out.

My doctor was amazing!! He gave me the time I needed to talk, he didn’t judge that I’d never taken the pills he’d prescribed, he offered sensible suggestions and we planned to get me back on track, but he was also realistic in what he expected me to achieve, and that’s what I needed, some honesty in return for my honesty!!

So at the beginning of October I started taking the anti depressants, so it was more pills, whatever, I needed to do something to make me work again!! 2 weeks later and I didn’t really feel any different and so the doc increased my dose, this panicked me, I was even failing at failure!! But I persevered, took the medicine, went to bed at night, started listening to a mediation app and gradually without noticing it I started to feel, different!!

A month later I was back at the doctors and he really noticed the change in me, I wasn’t as dejected, I’d had a great diabetic check up with much lower blood pressure and sugars under control, and I could see a way forwards…