Well I promised a blog a week and this week has been a tough one.
Work has been absolute up to the wall manic – with lots and lots going on and me feeling pulled in 15 different directions every day.
Home has been home, also with lots going on, planning for attending my brothers Las Vegas wedding, a trip to see my dad and half brother and sister and dogs to get sorted for our trip away.
I don’t feel like I’ve had a second to breathe and (warning this will be an honest post) I had a bit of a meltdown yesterday. My brother arranged for us all to meet mid way between where they live and our home and I actually got really excited. I got a picnic ready, drinks and treats and we even made good time for leaving the house.
However our car is cursed and, about 15 miles away from the beach, died. This isn’t the first time this has happened, although thankfully this time it was a lot less serious. Last time was a pre christmas meal and our back wheels nearly snapped off, which could have been really dangerous. This time one of the pipes on our radiator just exploded.
So yesterday in all the sun, we had a picnic, in a service station car park whilst we waited for the wonderful AA man to come along and then diagnose the problem, drive off to get a part, then come back and get us back on the road.
But by then it was too late. I couldn’t get hold of either brother, and ended up waiting for an hour in the service station to see if we should try and continue on to their house, to see my dad and siblings.Things didn’t work out and we started driving home, with the Dazzler trying to cheer me up all the way, but I felt broken.
Bless him he keeps trying to fix things for me and sometimes I cant be fixed. I literally felt so demoralised yesterday that i just wanted to come home and sleep. I really didn’t want to talk, didn’t want to move, didn’t even want to think. Ive been feeling a lot of that lately, and here is where it gets honest…
I know lots of people with depression, have experienced stress myself in the past, and live with a wonderful man who has amazing coping mechanisms for both he and I. But between you and me, sometimes those people who we think cope really well, who seem really strong, who always have a laugh and a smile, those people who seem so together – Aren’t
So remember even though you have a strong friend who seems like they can handle everything – they wont always. Even tough guys need a hug!!